The vicious cycle of pain

This morning when I woke up, the sun hadn't come up yet. Another night of sleep interrupted by the deep pain that wracks my body at it's highest peak during the ionic breeze that occurs between 4am and 6am.

I planned on going to yoga class today. That's not going to happen. I'll do my home practice.

I'm suppose to be getting ready for an interview today at the W Hotel, and I realized I don't own a single pair of "nice" shoes. I threw them all out when I started falling so much.

I'm nursing a couple of bruises, obtained when I fell into the coffee table the other night.

I felt great the past week, so I did a lot of catching up with housework, had a hoop gig, had some fun with my boyfriend and friends. It doesn't seem like a lot, but enough to start up the pain cycle.

I read somewhere that 80% of the population lives with some form of chronic pain. I don't know how much of that is a level 10, coupled with leg spasms that render them temporarily disabled. I don't know how many of them work full time jobs.

All I know is that getting a job with health care benefits has been a challenge for me. I've been made some false promises, Companies are keeping hours just under the limit of where you have to give an employee the option, or just plain out: I feel so terrible some days I can't walk, much less get into a car and endanger my life and the lives of others to get to work.

The last job I had, it came down to: During the winter my pain gets worse, and getting people to cover my shifts proved almost impossible, even when I had a days or more notice. I planned a vacation so I could nurse myself and it was denied. I called in sick after going to the Dr's a couple times. Now, I have Dr. bills and no job.

How does 80% of the population live with varying degrees of pain, and how do we as a society remain compassionate to that, while keeping our business running? Seems like a mighty vicious cycle, right?

All over L.A. there are signs that say "STAY HOME IF YOU ARE SICK". The city is plastering all this propaganda about staying home, yet somewhere in the loop they forgot to tell employers. This fake sense of "We Care", is it a scare tactic? Or a way of getting people to stay home so lay-offs can take place without having to extend unemployment?

I was lucky. I got unemployment.

What is going on here? I never had a full understanding of the economic system, but I'm pretty sure this depression we are in, well...it's pretty depressing.